I feel a need to call my ex?

i know this is extremely stupid but i miss talking to my ex. ok here's what happened..one night out of the blue i started textin her (while drunk) and i said tons of mean things to her. so she retaliated and made me pay for the text i send becuase when she receives text messages on her phone she has to pay..so i paid her..then i made matter worse by tellin one of my friends to har her on the phone which caused her to file harment charges (she was such a ***** about this)..so i told her to drop the charges and she did but i still owed her some money from the text messages i send( which she threatened to sue me and my family if i didn't pay)..so i paid her in full and after all the drama i decided to change my phone number..it's been like 3 months since that happened and now i miss her and want to call her??i know i shouldnt but i'm confused as to why if i feel like this and what should i do..i just want to call her to rekindle the friendship NOT to get back together...any ideas?