Why am I so confused?

I mean if my ex say hes a good dude like he say and been showing me ever since. he said da trust issues made him realize he cant be in a real relationship at this point in his life so he had 2 fall back... but what i dnt get is we just had an arguement like a week ago and he stated he didnt wanna neva talk to me again like really saying some crazy stuff but then he apologizes and still til this day keeps in contact with me.. calls me or txt me like all the time. and im thinking if i hurt you so bad like he say i do why even keep in contact.. we been in a relationship almost 5 years off and on sometimes i feel like hes tryna keep me around because he know that i am in love with him still and every time someones attracted to me or that ive been talking to for a few weeks but just getting to know he tells me its always a damn catch with them ... he tells me he loves me so much but i dont think hes in love with me but he also tells other women hes single and and sometimes when we're talking its like he makes me feel like im the student and hes the teacher as if im slow or something but tells me im a bright and smart beautiful woman .... am I uming about my ex or is he keeping is options open and putting me up for later!?