What do you think of this poem? be brutal :-p?

I think it's off to a great start. I like your focus on the details of the cig and how each element of the cig is symbolic. Here's a jumble of thoughts: I would suggest breaking "Black Breath in white breath out" into two lines. The reader will figure out they are meant to be opposites even on two lines. I would also suggest saying "retreats" instead of "burns back." Overall, I would work on the rhythm because the content is focused and expressive.